Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Hurricane Blizzard is what they call it. Sounds like an overpriced cruise ship beverage if you ask me. I woke up to a sloshy mixture of rain and snow this morning, and before that discovery, to an annoying dry cough. Welcome to my last day in New York. It's been almost a full month with no success in finding a paid fashion job. I have made strides. And I have been hired as a cocktail waitress. But when it came down to it, my parents were strongly suggesting I give my pup away to a new home, and... I did not have 2,200 cash lying around for the next month. I would be sacrificing a lot to stay here and I didn't want to have any regrets. If I move back to Jacksonville some people might view it as a failure, but I view it as a place to rest, save up, sew, and plan my next adventure.
New York City is a struggle, that's part of what makes it so energizing and enticing. The majority of people that live here WANT to be here with all of their heart. All of their soul.
After a month of the internship and getting a minor glimpse of the real fashion industry I realized what I didn't want to be. And sometimes when you see what you don't want, it points you in the direction of what you do want.
I don't want to be glued to my phone. I don't want to be on the edge of my seat feeling inadequate. I don't want to feel constantly stressed or live my life for the success of somebody else. If I'm struggling, I want it to be for the well being of myself or a reputable company I strongly believe in. I need to be given the respect that I give back. I want it to be a worth while and enjoyable struggle to reach my goal with dignity and self worth intact.
I'm going to miss this place. New York reminded me how enjoyable it is to strike up conversations with strangers. It taught me that every day can become an adventure, and you have the decision to make it one. It taught me to actually like cold weather. As I type this I'm in fur-filled boots, UnderArmor leggings, a shirt, a hooded sweatshirt, and lastly a fur hat head band. Cold weather allows you to dress ridiculous and I've come to comfortably adore these layered get ups. Human beings are such adaptable animals; total chameleons with the ability to live in any weather climate.
New York, I'll be back. Whether it be for a visit or another temporary residence. Until then, thanks for the hospitality.

1 comment:

  1. It's not a failure at all if you move back! You live and learn and will still do big things, you don't need NYC to shine! ;)